According to dictionary.com, the definition of “desire” is:

1. to wish or long for; crave; want.
2. to express a wish to obtain; ask for; request.

Two pretty contrasting definitions. To long for. To crave. What do those terms bring up for you? For me, they bring up feelings of need and longing and craving. Feelings of guilt and shame around desiring something. I imagine myself as a fat kid, longing for that big cake so that I can devour it greedily. I need that cake. The thoughts of that cake overtake my every thought and I obsess about it so that I can fulfill my impulse to consume. I have to have it to be whole. Like I have to have that promotion or that car or that lover that’s caught my eye. I think of those hedonistic impulses that drive to consume, even if what’s being consumed is the very thing that perpetuates a cycle of destruction – like drugs, alcohol, the quest to be the “best” no matter the cost. Now contradict this with the expression of a wish to obtain; to ask for; to request. Sounds gentler, doesn’t it? Like the wish Gepetto made upon a star. I am asking for something. It would be nice to get. Like a promotion at my job because I work hard, or a car because it would make things more convenient, or someone to love and be loved by because it feels so nice when two hearts connect.

So many of us feel guilty for having desires. Or we’re fueled by these desires that seem to consume us and drive us to make choices that destroy us and/or anything in our path. But what if we take a step back and look at the intention behind our desires? Is what we think we desire what we actually want, or is it a mask for something deeper? Is the one-drink-too-many a mask for wanting to be taken away from the pain? Is the new material good or need for a partner a mask for insecurity or the need for validation? Now don’t get me wrong. I have a car because I enjoy the convenience it offers. I like buying clothing because I like to celebrate my femininity. And sometimes I go out for a drink because I’ve been having a shitty day. What I’m saying is, desire is a powerful thing because it drives our behavior. The Universe is infinite so there is no reason that one’s good fortune should mean someone else’s loss. So let go of guilt and ask for what you want. But as you do so, tap into the intention behind your desires and use that as your compass. How deep you dig is up to you. But remember:

“If your heart is in your dream/ No request is too extreme/ When you wish upon a star/ As dreamers do/ Fate is kind/ She brings to those who love/ The sweet fulfillment of their secret longing.” ~ When you wish upon a star