I went into ReFind this past weekend with my buddy Chris in order to try and find an archaic chest that I can store a few things in – and that could double as a cool looking seat. As we made our way through the twists and turns of the narrow hallways, we ended up in a small side room. As my eyes scanned the contents of the room, they were immediately drawn to a single phone, and it was literally like a lightning bolt. *Bam* I’m normally a little indecisive. Or at least I used to be. More and more I’m just making decisions and going with them – but this took it to a whole new level. This phone was meant for me and I just knew it, instantly. So I let out a little squeal of joy, grabbed the thing, and proceeded to freak out over how perfect this phone is. I’m really glad that I was with Chris, because he’s one of those special people that can share in your joy as much as you do, while holding the space for you to roll around in the beautiful and colorful flower petals that are your bliss. Ok. Let me give you a little background, and then I’ll get to the moral of the story.
I have a thing against landlines. A complete disregard for them, a distaste. I’m not fully sure why. I don’t even know if I can fully articulate my thoughts on my dislike of them. They’re intrusive. I don’t like the idea of being bugged in my home (and no, I don’t mean that in the conspiracy theorist way). With a cell phone I can turn it off, set it to vibrate, or choose to lose it in my bed. I feel as though with a landline, I’d probably set the ringer to “off” and then forget about it and it would be pointless. Then I’d forget to check my answering machine and next thing you know the world blows up. Yes, I’m catastrophising. But we all have our eccentricities and [one of mine] is this. Plus, I have a cell phone that also acts as my source of music, internet browsing, a backup camera and allows me to check my work email. Landline, eat your heart out. So, then, why on earth did I just lose my mind over a landline phone?!? Because I need one in order to set up the buzzer system in my apartment. For whatever reason, the buzzer system doesn’t work with a cell phone, and now that my sweetest Penelope is staying with my parents, it’s not like going down to let someone in is even an excuse to let her go pee. Yes. It’s time. It’s time I got a phone to set up my buzzer (but that’s as far as it goes – no actual landline!!!!!).
Dislike of landlines seems to go hand-in-hand with a disregard for modern-looking phones for me. What I really [thought] I wanted was a cool, old-school rotary phone. Some twirl action. Vintage looking exterior. Perfect. However, that doesn’t work as far as “buzzing people in” goes – I actually need push buttons. Hmmmmm. What’s a girl to do? Nothing. Other than let it be.
So flash back to me and my newly bought phone. At this point, I’ve paid for the thing and am literally skipping down the street with the phone under my arm and Chris right beside me. Gratitude. Sheer, blissful expression of gratitude. And as I start to sing a song about my new phone, it hits me. I would not change a single thing about this phone. Literally, not even a smidget. For the first time in as long as I can remember, I am looking at something that is mine, and I wouldn’t change a single thing about it. Sure the top of Sprout’s hat needs some re-gluing, but that doesn’t matter. The phone is perfect just the way it is. I love it in its entirety – glued on hat or not. I start to try to articulate to Chris what I’m feeling. I tell him about how I’ve been wanting a phone for a few months but that I was having trouble trying to manifest it, because I didn’t know what I wanted… all I knew was what I didn’t want and the non-rotary phone constraints I was working with… and also that I wasn’t going to settle. And so I just let that go into the Universe and now I found a phone that I couldn’t have manifested if I tried, because it’s so random and unlike anything that even my imagination was likely to conjure up. But the thing is, I did manifest it. Just not in the way I’m used to thinking of manifestation.
I used to own a documentary about Noam Chomsky that was a collection of some of his public lectures and interviews. During one of the interviews, the interviewer comments on Noam’s critique of current Society and then asks Noam about what he thinks is the right alternative for Society. In his answer, Noam states that he does not believe that there is a “right alternative” for Society, since we are all independent and unique individuals, and so it is unrealistic to think that one answer/way of being is going to be right for everyone. However, he goes on to state that not knowing the “solution” or “alternative” shouldn’t stop you from questioning the status quo and striving for something more. What you do know is that what’s going on isn’t “working” for you and so there must be another way. And that’s the thing. By shining a light on what we don’t want – actually sitting down and reflecting on it as it pertains to any given situation – that is an action in and of itself. In doing so, we are using the process of elimination to help create an awareness of what it is that we do want – even if it’s hazy – so that when something that’s “right for us” comes around we are more likely to recognize it. So sit down and reflect. Ask why. Why am I unhappy about this [blank]? What specifically is it about this [blank] that I don’t like? By shining a questioning light, you are taking your power back.
As Ben Kadel from Emotus Operandi so kindly reminded me one day a few months ago when I was struggling with whether or not I was on a path in line with my Higher Self, in every situation there are factors that we have control of, and there are factors that are outside of our locus of control. All we can do is reflect on a given situation, identify what aspects we can control and act on those, while asking for the serenity to accept what it is that we cannot change at this present moment. And as we do this, slowly, slowly, our present situation starts to shift, and we get our power back. We are no longer idle victims in a situation. We are active participants in the flow that is life. The only constant in life is change – and in doing so, our awareness is helping to guide the change, even if a large part of our awareness in a given situation consists of identifying what it is that we don’t want.
And so Sprout now has a happy home below my framed John Lennon Newsweek. And as I walk into my home I look at both of them and smile. Everything is going to be alright. Everything is alright. Everything is as it should be. Especially when we take the time to connect to what it is that we do and don’t want. Awareness is power my friends. So ask why, work to change what you can, and let go of the rest… all the while trusting in your own power and that of the Universe. What is yours will come. Namaste.