I accompanied a friend to her work Christmas function this weekend. It was the stereotypical Christmas to-do: a chance to get all gussied up, don some nice heels and a lil’ black dress, eat some good food and drink some fancy drinks. I love all of the above, plus I have a fair share of holiday cheer, so I think it’s safe to say that I’m in my element when I’m at a Christmas party. At the end of the night, the owner of my friend’s company walked by with a prize she had just won; it was one of those stocking stuffer contraptions that consisted of a metal pole with a silver ball and string attached to it and the words yes and no written under it. As she walked by me with the prize, I commented on how she could use her prize as an adjunct to a crystal and string; then, she’d be set for making any life decision. Apparently my comment only made sense to me, because the lady stopped and asked me what I was talking about.
“You know. A string with a crystal attached to it. Or I actually think it can be any metal attached to a string. If you concentrate hard enough you can get it to rotate one direction when you think ‘yes’, the opposite direction when you think ‘no’, and then it swings vertically when you think ‘maybe.’ It’s pretty rad. Try it. People usually end up being pretty stoked when I get them to try it.”
The company’s owner just looked at me. I don’t think she quite knew what to make of what I was telling her, so I started to tell her about some of the meta-physical characteristics of crystals… which naturally led into some Universe talk. We ended up having a pleasant conversation, at the end of which, she told me that she did not consider herself as being “spiritual” and so she found our talk interesting. Now it was my turn to be intrigued.
I told her that the majority of my happiness, confidence, and strength came from my connection with myself and my surroundings, which came about as a result of my spirituality and connection with the Universe. She was the owner of a major employment agency in the city. Where was her inner strength rooted?
“You’re obviously a very secure and successful woman. How do you do it? Where do you find your strength?”
“Ummmmmmmmmmm. Oh I don’t know.”
“Oh come on now. That’s not fair. I just told you a lot about me and my beliefs. Now tell me about you. What underlies your success? You say you’re not spiritual… so what underlies your inner strength?”
“Ok. Ummmm. Let me think.”
Then she offered me the following tidbits of wisdom:
1) “At age 40, all of this *points to her exterior* starts to go. Literally. Your looks, all that’s on the outside starts to deteriorate; but, then, you realize, that none of that really matters. So you stop taking yourself so seriously.”
2) “Nothing is personal. You have no way of knowing what other people are thinking, but even if you did, you’d soon realize that most of their actions have nothing to do with you. Everyone is preoccupied with their own life. Most of what people say or do has nothing to do with you, but is a reflection of their own shit, so you stop worrying about it.”
3) “I believe that people are good. I love people and I believe that they’re good.”
So there ya go.
1) Love yourself… but not for what’s on the outside, because that will eventually deteriorate, along with most other things in life. What is constant is that beautiful you that is your essence… the wonderfulness that is the “you” on the inside… so take the time to connect with yourself because that is where your beauty and power really lies.
2) Get out of your head. Just be… just be in the now. It’s not about you, so get out of your head and stop over-thinking that “stupid” thing you said or did three hours ago… you’re the only one thinking about it… everyone else is thinking about their own shit.
3) Love others. Enough said.
There’s a lot to be said for the power of love and being present in the moment – no matter how you frame it. As Shakespeare so famously wrote, “What’s in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet.”